Abstract The aim of this reflective piece is to explore the under‐recognised contribution of shame to disorganising attachment–caregiving relationships. The first hypothesis is that ‘shame without solution’ is a part of a core and enduring emotional wound central to relational trauma in infancy and associated attachment disorganisation. The second is that dominance and submission hierarchies, order and control are potent defensive adaptations employed to stabilise ‘shame without solution’. Children exhibiting profoundly disturbed behaviours, stemming from intergenerational cycles of trauma and distress, are disproportionately represented in child protection, intensive family support and child mental health services. Despite being set up to support these children and their families, the most distressed mothers too often disengage, feeling blamed even by compassionate therapists who work hard not to alienate them. If the mothers disengage, the mothers and their children are left without professional support. Arising out of this theoretical work are recommendations that support constructive and effective working relationships with these families, originally articulated in Parallel Parent and Child Therapy (P‐PACT; Chambers et al., 2006). The first recommendation is to provide mothers with the support that we want the mother to give the child. This means meticulously avoiding reinforcing the negative self‐view typical of these mothers. The second recommendation is to prioritise empathy for the mother and the mother–child relationship early in treatment. For many practitioners, this second recommendation will conflict with their natural desire to prioritise empathy for the child, especially when the mother's capacity to do so is compromised. Experience and theory support the adoption of these recommendations to avoid perceived blame of the mother (and all members of the family), a critical shift to establishing engagement.

Jackie Amos

Ruth Jacobs

Leonie Segal

Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy

The ANZJFT is reputed to be the most-stolen professional journal in Australia! It is read by clinicians as well as by academics, and each issue includes substantial papers reflecting original perspectives on theory and practice.    A lively magazine section keeps its finger on the pulse of family therapy in Australia and New Zealand via local correspondents, and four Foreign Correspondents report on developments in the US and Europe.

The Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy (ANZJFT) is reputed to be the most-stolen professional journal in Australia! It is read by both clinicians and academics, with each issue featuring substantial papers that reflect original perspectives on theory and practice. A lively magazine section keeps its finger on the pulse of family therapy in Australia and New Zealand through local correspondents, while four Foreign Correspondents report on developments in the US and Europe.

《Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy》被誉为澳大利亚最常被盗的专业期刊！它不仅受到临床医生的关注，也受到学术界的重视。每期刊物都包含反映理论和实践的原创观点的重要论文。此外，杂志的活泼栏目通过当地通讯员关注澳大利亚和新西兰的家庭治疗动态，同时四位外国通讯员也会报道美国和欧洲的相关发展。

Category	Quartile
心理学	4
心理学, 家庭研究	4

Attachment, shame and empathy in dyadic family therapy

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Journal Info

Category	Quartile
FAMILY STUDIES	4